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Main Characters

	Reiser, the main character / narrator of the comic is based on the creator, Aaron Reiser. Known for private trains of associations incorporating anything involving martial arts, Reiser is usually pulling strings in the background though he's pretty lazy and rarely gets involved with the exception of kicking ass and making bad jokes. Reiser also appears as Magus. First Appearance		'tino is more overtly insane than Reiser, though he's also quite a bit smarter. He's perhaps the only truly superpowered character having discovered that, as a self-aware character in a comic with no logical base, he can basically will himself anything. He uses these powers for general lunacy rather than evil, however, since he's a nice guy. First Appearance
	Flynn holds the title of King of the Moogles. Much like Mog from the Final Fantasy games, Flynn is the valiant leader of the Cleaners (see below) . . . at least for the purposes of this comic. Often seen in a cab, given his superpower to take people on "The Ride," Flynn is the most recent possessor of the "Hah! I have a girlfriend and you don't!" power formerly belonging to Nick. First Appearance		Ian, a drastically underdeveloped character, has the down-and-out most powerful artifact in the comic: his 'fro. Though the full power of the 'fro remains untapped, Ian frequently pops up for the purpose of being the butt of a joke or saving the world - whichever is more convenient at the time. He is also and all-powerful g0d and skilled in the Bum Rush. First Appearance

Secondary Characters

	Perlstein Since this whole web comic thing was Perlstein's idea, it's only natural that the vast majority of the early issues centered on him (and his lack of drawing skillz at the time). Despite being the butt of many jokes he has proven countless times that, in a crisis, he's the calm and collected one who finds the unconventional answers to problems far too irrational for our regular heros. He also believes that pants are evil.Perlstein also appears as Butz. First Appearance		Dadap Dan is dead. First Appearance
	Teitel is the embodiment of all evil as the principal of Stuyvesant High School, the (now former) high school of the characters in the comic. Generally an oppressive dictator, he occasionally appears as a facist monarch bent on ruling the school . . . if only is wasn't for those nosy kids! First Appearance		Jackson that can be experienced is not the true Jackson. The Jackson that can be constructed is not true. Jackson manifests all that happens and may happen; Jackson represents all that exists and may exist. First Appearance
	Stern Avid Mets fan Mike Stern is also the (former) roommate of Flynn. His primary concern, aside from killing people in deathmatches that only he seems to be aware of, would be ridding the world of CATS who set him up the allergies. Having wheels, he also possesses great speed and maneuvering capabilities. First Appearance		Borell One of the two Adams, Borell is used primarily in the comic as a gag because he doesn't like milk. I, on the other hand, drink about three and a half gallons of milk a week not including the milk I put in cereal and all the other milk products that I consume. First Appearance
	Greller, yet another Aaron, is the co-founder of the Brotherhood of Aarons. He typically just hangs around trying to prove people wrong, pushes people to their limits, and generally laments how dumb the world of Thwack!! is . . . which is not to say that he's wrong or anything . . . First Appearance		Rycar is the former possessor of the "Ha! I have a girlfriend and you don't" ability, though he was required to transfer it to Flynn. Probably the character with the most potential that I underuse, Nick can do most anything he wants except that his life has been mostly consumed with finding a new girlfriend these days. First Appearance
Granger There's medium, large, extra-large, extra-extra-large, huge, enormous, gargantuan, and then there's Granger-sized. Granger is just . . . Granger. Most likely a genetic cross between Sean Connery and a sasquatch, Granger is friendly and good natured until he is angered, at which point cities lay in devastation in his wake. First Appearance

Notable Guests

	Barry Bonds Flynn and Barry Bonds frequently team up to wreak some sort of mischeif in the comic. First Appearance		The Cleaners Thwack!'s only superhero team, The Cleaners consist of members of all shapes, sizes, and skills. When the going gets tough, the Cleaners assemble! First Appearance
	Sean Connery Much like the Wonder Twins, whenever evil is nearby you can bet that Granger and Sean Connery are teaming up to insult it out of existence. First Appearance		Happatai The comedy group behind the Japanese song "Yatta!" which is sweeping the nation! They only have one appearance in this comic, but you know that they've got to be behind it all. First Appearance
	Mr. T Whoa, damn son! Mr. T shows up frequently pitying the fools and attracting all the women that would have otherwise been ours. Curse his 1337 skillz! First Appearance		Sylvan Creator of Sylvan Migdal's Extremely Interesting Web Comics, Sylvan makes occasional guest appearances despite the fact that he's been killed off for not giving me a cameo in his comic. First Appearance

Quick Reference Guide (Chronological)